I feel like my life is stuck in its epilogue now, like I’m a filler episode, an NPC who only exists to serve other people’s quests. I used to joke about it, telling lonely people on Reddit to stop stealing my pictures and let me finish my own missions, but the joke’s wearing thin. I’m invisible. I’m meaningless.
I carry all the importance of a shadow. Well, one commenter pointed out that a shadow’s importance depends on where it falls. On ordinary days, nobody notices it. But in a hot place, you long for shade.
Maybe my time will come with global warming. Maybe I’m about to shine. It’s been four months since I slept more than three hours straight. My friends are all engaged now, couples tangled up in each other’s lives, and they never want to go out.
On the rare occasions I see them, I’m the fifth wheel. My parents try their best, but I still feel like I’ve let them down, and myself too. The rest of my family barely acknowledges me unless they need something. I can’t find a better job, so I’m stuck at minimum wage, surviving only because my parents help cover the gaps.
I lost my sense of purpose the day I left the military, and it’s only gotten worse since. Dating is one disappointment after another. I live alone, and outside of work, if I didn’t drag myself to the coffee shop every so often, I could go months without speaking to another human being. I could go on, but the short version is that I’m lonely, desperately craving physical affection and love.
I just wish I were a priority to someone other than my parents. Could be worse, one person replied. Could be surrounded by people and still feel this way. Another voice chimed in: I have no drive, no ambition.
My friends are few and far between. As I’ve aged and spent more time alone, I’ve only grown bitter about how things are, but I can’t change them. Depression grabs hold of me sometimes, and I spiral, cutting myself off from everyone and everything until I feel okay enough to function or until I have no choice. I’m thirty years old, still living in the house I grew up in with my mom and dad.
Needless to say, I’ve failed badly at life. But if it weren’t for them, I’d be dead on the streets right now. I feel empty, someone else wrote. Like if I died right now, it would just be a quiet moment, and people would move on.
There are always people who would grieve you, another replied. People just aren’t always good at showing it. Recently better, someone said. Less lonely.
I found more support. My twelve-hour, six-day-a-week job just ended, and it finally feels like I’m finding my friends again, getting back into life. It sucks because I’m clearly lonely because of my crooked facial features, one person admitted. I have a good personality and all, but when your nose is on your mind literally all the time, it’s hard to even talk to someone.
Sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and think I look great, until someone makes an offhand comment about my hair or just stares at my face without meaning to, and it ruins my whole day. I don’t blame people. You need to like what you see before you like how that person makes you feel, and I’ll just never cross that barrier. I see a dad take a selfie with his kids, and I think I could never do that.
Even if I had a kid, I couldn’t do simple things like taking pictures together. It’s heartbreaking. I go to the gym. I go to work.
I’d go out if someone ever called, but every time it feels like I’m going into battle, all defensive and on edge about my looks. It sucks, man. You see other kids running around with friends, getting love letters when they meet someone new, and sometimes you just wish you were an average kid with all of that. Today’s my birthday, someone wrote.
I never celebrate it because I don’t have friends, but my parents gave me forty dollars, and my mom made a cake, nachos, and pizza, so it’s great. I might not have friends, but I have an awesome family. Also, I have exams in four days, so I’m a little stressed, but it’ll be fine. Although I am very much alone, I am not lonely, one person said.
I prefer it this way. Being alone is underrated. Old, tired, lonely, isolated, friendless, an older voice wrote. I’m disappointed that I wake up in the morning.
I try to keep busy puttering around the house, but let’s face it, no one should have to feel like this, especially in the winter of their life. I’m thinking about seeing a therapist at my local college. I haven’t been well, another admitted. I started a self-improvement regimen a few months ago, and while I can see and feel the results, it hasn’t helped me in the friends or romance department at all.
I can make acquaintances easily, but bridging the gap from acquaintance to actual friend is really hard as an adult. People live in their own little bubbles, and unless you’re wildly entertaining or interesting, they won’t let you in. I keep trying, but it gets depressing, like running into a wall over and over. You know the saying, you have to spend money to make money.
Well, it seems you have to have friends to make friends. Part of my problem is that I’m reserved and picky. I want to surround myself with positive, uplifting people. I’m not thirsty enough to drink poison.
Sometimes meeting people at recurring events helps, someone suggested. I play music, so I’ve been going to weekly open mics. You see the same faces every week and get closer just because it happens most weeks. Finding something that suits your interests could work.
I’m alone, another person said, but I don’t think of myself as lonely. I’m actually less happy when people are around me all the time. I’m happier alone. I have a hard time being happy, and I can’t imagine being responsible for someone else’s happiness when I’m so bad at making myself happy.
I’m sick of it, someone wrote. Get well soon, another replied. Just tired from everything, someone said. Doing better than last year.
I’m losing weight, nearly at a normal weight now, and that’s helping. But there are days when I just want to go up and hug someone. I don’t really have anyone close to me. My family is all out of state, and I’m far too shy to go out and meet someone.
I’m always afraid I’ll come off as creepy or do something stupid. At least I have two cuddle bug dogs. I feel like I’m held together with glue and tape, one person admitted. On the whole, I’m better.
But today I woke up realizing that I do most of the initiating in my friendships and get little in return. I feel you so much, another replied. I’ve always been the most active in my group, the loudest in the room. I think I have funny guy syndrome.
I also suspect I’m autistic based on my actions, which might actually be a thing. Last year was so bad I even considered going to a therapist. Nothing major has changed, but I think it helped with my self-love. Not much, someone else said.
Trying to get over her lately. You’ll be fine, another replied. Be awesome and work on yourself. My memory has gotten really bad, someone wrote.
I can’t tell you if an event happened yesterday or last month. I’m hanging in there, another person said. I just got out of my first ever Narcotics Anonymous meeting after having four years clean and realizing I can’t stay sober alone anymore. Here’s to the start, and in some ways the continuation, of a lifelong journey.
I feel like I’m in an endless void, someone wrote. I felt like being around people on a Sunday morning, so I went to a large downtown church. It was sad to see that in a building that seats around eight hundred people, there were no more than twenty scattered around the vast space for the main service. They didn’t sing or participate.
It felt lifeless. The experience made me wish I had stayed home. Just broke up with someone I loved dearly, another said. I don’t have many friends in state.
It’s too cold to go do things. It’s just me and my cat. I’m making tiny clay figures. Fantastic, someone wrote.
I have a simple life and no hassle. What’s to moan about? Just want to get away from everything for a while, another admitted, but I never have the funds. It’s been a crazy two years, someone said.
I was a complete failure in early 2017. Got kicked out of college. I was about to turn twenty-five and had accomplished nothing. Depression was eating me up, and I’d been a failure since I graduated high school in 2012.
But I pushed through. I got into a tech program and landed a six-month internship. I started dating someone for the first time. It didn’t work out, mostly because I’ve always been a social outcast and found it hard to be affectionate.
When the internship ended, I met this really cool girl. We hung out a couple of times, and I screwed that up too. I hurt her pretty badly emotionally, though unintentionally. We stopped talking, and I never forgave myself.
Eventually, I realized I was being too hard on myself. There was no way I could have known about her past since she never told me. I started making big changes and eliminating bad habits. I got a great job, and for the first time in nearly eight years, I’ll have weekends off.
I don’t hang out with my friends or talk to my family much, so having weekends should give me time to be more social and work on myself. I’m just trying to be the best I can be and fix the mistakes I’ve made so I can do better and have real relationships. I read your story, someone replied, and it’s already quite inspiring. I applaud your will to forgive yourself and change.
I hope you make the best use of the time you have now. If loneliness is your friend, you’re not lonely anymore, another added. Not bad, someone said. It gets pretty easy when you just embrace being alone.
Agreed, another replied. I’ve recently realized this. My fiancé is in the other room packing up their half of our life together, someone wrote. I’m doing bad.
That sounds awful, another replied. I’m sorry, buddy. Honestly, not super great, someone admitted. The sad thing is I have a boyfriend, but it feels like he doesn’t care about me like he used to.
He’d rather spend his time with other people, doing other things. This is much worse than being single ever was, but I don’t have the courage to end things. In all honesty, I keep hoping an accident will take me out, but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen anytime soon. Don’t be afraid to talk, someone advised.
Issues must be addressed and discussed, or things will take a venomous turn in the long run. I’m struggling, another wrote. I have a few family issues going on, but they don’t quite fit this thread. They just heighten my emotional state.
I confessed to the woman I have incredibly strong feelings for, someone shared. She works with me, at the desk right next to mine, actually. I spent a long time trying to get over her because I didn’t want the difficult situation of either dating a coworker or being rejected by one and making things weird. But then we became friends and kept getting closer, and I fell head over heels.
When I confessed, she was responsive and explained all the baggage she’s trying to work through before she dates again. She even went on to flirt with me and tell me the things she likes about me. God, I’ve never been spoken to like that before, not even by anyone I was in a relationship with. I’ve never felt more noticed or appreciated as far as being attractive to someone in my whole life.
It was literally a new feeling in my heart I’d never felt before. She’s not ready for anything yet, but ever since we talked, I feel a shift toward potential, mild flirting, more openness. But I’m afraid of being on the hook just for nothing to pan out. I’m going to stick this out, whatever happens.
But in every private moment, I lose all confidence in the situation and in myself, although I gain it all back the moment she’s near. The confession was just this past week, but it feels like a month ago. I stand by my choice to wait for her. I just need to air out my thoughts more.
You got this, another replied. Just got friend-zoned, someone wrote. Don’t blame yourself for it. They aren’t interested in you that way, and that’s fine.
It’s all subjective. There’s nothing wrong with you. Pretty crappy, honestly, someone said. My dogs passed away.
I’m unemployed. My friend dropped me because I told our mutual friend that she literally said, “I’m using them. ” Since I was bullied relentlessly in middle school, I couldn’t stay silent about the abusive behavior. So my friend dropped me.
My boyfriend works more than we see each other each week. I have a mental illness that gets in the way of doing basic things, like showering. I haven’t showered in a week. I need to.
I have a towel ready, but I’m sort of afraid of water because I was assaulted in the rain. That led to PTSD, and now that people know I have a mental illness because I came out during one of those mental illness awareness months, I haven’t heard anything from anyone. Worst of all, the person I tried to confide in about the assault doesn’t believe me. This all ties into being alone constantly, without a job because my panic disorder and generalized anxiety kick in and I usually flee the job.
I just want real-life friends I can hang out with, and I want to feel happy again. There’s so much more. I’ve cried three times today, and I know it won’t be the last. Most of all, I just want my dogs back.
I miss them. I get made fun of for not doing normal people stuff because I’m socially inept, someone wrote. It makes me not want to go out at all. Forget normal people, another replied.
As long as you’re kind, you deserve to be treated well. If you’re a weirdo, find your weirdos. We are stronger together. Lonely, someone said.
My parents are divorcing, and I lost my job at the end of the year. After breaking out of a long-term abusive relationship, I found that I didn’t have friends anymore, and I don’t know how to make new ones. Sometimes I daydream about cooking a meal for a loved one, or pillow talk, or a nice long hug. Those are wholesome daydreams, someone replied.
I think more people should dream of good hugs. I wish you all of the hugs in the world. My grandparents called today and asked if I had a girlfriend yet, a seventeen-year-old wrote. I said no, and grandma tried to convince me to join a choir or theater production.
I don’t know how I’m doing, but I don’t think it’s good because I cried in the dark before I saw this, so I said forget it and started writing. I feel like I’m being eaten from the inside. I have a feeling in my throat that literally always makes me uncomfortable. I have nearly no one, and I see no point in sharing these feelings with the people I do have because I don’t feel close to them.
When I saw this post, I thought that if I shared this, I’d feel better, but I still feel like crap, to be honest. I have a decent amount of friends, another teen said, but I don’t hang out with them outside of school. I sometimes rely on Omegle to get my social interaction for the day, but it isn’t quite the same. I obviously don’t have a girlfriend, but it’s all right.
I’m not suffering like a bunch of other people, so I’ll just suck it up because this is nothing compared to what others are going through. Not too good, man, someone wrote. My oldest and best friend just overdosed. I just had to put my dog down.
My grandfather is at ten percent kidney function and has to go on dialysis. One of my oldest friends just ripped me off. Another one of my oldest friends just had a kid with my ex-girlfriend, the one I had a miscarriage with. A girl I was into a couple of days ago was hugging up on another guy in my house, on my couch.
So that’s just some icing on the top. And on top of all that, I’ve relapsed. So I’m not doing good. Kind of just drifting through life right now.
Hopefully, things will be better after I graduate. The thread kept churning, voices rising and falling in the dark. Somewhere in the middle of the sorrow, a joke appeared, a silly blessing about garlic bread and good back support, a promise to subscribe and updoot. A laugh, small and strange, cut through the gloom.
For a moment, the loneliness thinned. Someone out there was still listening.