The Princess of Wales has appeared in public for the first time in six months but one image reveals the full scope of Buckingham Palace’s hidden crisis.
Is God (or your deity of choice) British? You have to wonder.
On what was Kate, the Princess of Wales’ big, splendid, wonderful return to public life – Gloriana! Gloriana! – after six months, what weather did (insert your chosen higher power here) bestow on London for Trooping the Colour? Showers. And not just any bit of on-brand British drizzle but rain that was “Biblical” (The Telegraph) and “torrential” (The Sunday Times).
Still, even a seemingly nonplussed (or republican) god could not dampen the mood at Trooping, King Charles’ ceremonial birthday parade of spiffy uniforms and horses. The Princess of Wales’ breezy, smiley appearance guaranteed the overarching view of the day as a triumph and a bravura show of duty and commitment, the whole thing really firing up the roast-beef-of-Old-England columnists of Fleet Street.
However, there is one image that dramatically undercuts this chipper pro-palace groupthink. Look past Kate in Jenny Packham and her three kids, dressed like they are being forced to spend their weekend as Downton Abbey extras, and what do you have? A family – and a family business – not exactly looking quite so crash hot.
On the Prince and Princess of Wales’ official Kensington Palace X account, they shared images from the day, including a wide shot of the working members of the House of Windsor on the Buckingham Palace balcony. There is so much spare room out there they should consider listing parts of it on Airbnb.
Even with the remaining HRHs who officially represent the Crown carefully splayed out there (including the choreography of different family members walking out onto the iconic perch via different doors based on seniority), the end result is an image of a shrunken, somewhat withered royal family. The balcony on Saturday just looked empty, like half the guests to a BYO potluck had not deigned to turn up.
This might not be anything new, but moments like this weekend and Kensington Palace’s tweet make this particular harsh truth impossible to ignore, no matter the mega-wattage of Kate’s smile or Prince Louis’ reliably impish antics.
Consider the 88-year-old Duke of Kent who, after a lifetime of sliding ever more, ever more, down the line of succession, was out there doing his bit. The duke is not just some aged family member adding padding to the scene but accounts for ten per cent of the remaining royal workforce.
He might represent duty and an unwavering lifetime of commitment to public service and other cockle-warming sentiments, but how long can the palace keep up the charade that everything is okay?
Kensington – we have a problem. A massive, intractable, I-have-no-easy-idea-how-you-solve-this problem.
The Duke of Kent, at 88, was present and continues to serve, representing a significant portion of the remaining royal workforce. Picture: Getty Images
Looking at the images from Trooping, what is clear is that someone needs to dispatch an emissary to Montecito to see if some sort of making-up can be brokered over a wheatgrass shot.
See, it’s not just Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sus𝓈ℯ𝓍, who are missing from the balcony scene but their kids, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, too.
Crown Inc has never had a problem with child labour and the young ‘uns of working HRHs have always been pressed into service for the sake of PR. William and Kate’s three young kids, Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis, have all been appearing for Trooping since they were barely onto solids, and had the Sus𝓈ℯ𝓍es not ended up on Netflix’s payroll, Archie and Lili could have been up there too this weekend.
From a purely pragmatic perspective, any business needs staff, and right now Buckingham Palace is down nearly 40 per cent in terms of their senior front liners compared to this time only five years ago. The Sus𝓈ℯ𝓍es are off finding their authentic selves and novel ways to keep the lights on; Prince Andrew, last anyone checked, was seemingly slumped on a sofa watching the tele and fighting a personal battle with the biscuit tin; and the late Queen has gone to the great racetrack in the sky.
There is only one – uno – possibility here. Given that Andrew is as toxic as a bottle of Chernobyl spring water and unless Her late Majesty has been cryogenically frozen, then that leaves … the Sus𝓈ℯ𝓍es.
Harry and Meghan, and by extension Archie and Lili, are it. They are the only chance that Buckingham Palace has of expanding its roster of young (or at least, younger) faces and preventing the royal house from, aside from Kate, having all the glamour and excitement of a podiatrist’s waiting room.
The royal family’s social media accounts and the UK press can spin, spin, spin about Crown Inc’s fortunes looking up with the return of Kate and other perky blather, but that can’t hide the fact that they are in a serious bind, to which there is only one possible workable solution.
And that solution would seem to be about as palatable to William especially as a microwavable vegan scotch egg giving off quite the sulfurous whiff.
There is also the broader philosophical question of how can the royal family actually serve as the unifying, symbolic institution they are meant to be if the King can’t even unify his two sons? Lord, they don’t even have to speak or make eye contact, but just not descend into hair-pulling while the RAF Red Arrows zoom overhead.
But are any aides or courtiers likely to be doing any of this flavour of existential pondering today? Exactly.
So let us assume that right about now, the celebratory Waitrose bubbles are being liberally quaffed behind palace gates and cheese and onion crisps are being cheerfully proffered. Not only is Kate is BACK (kinda) but Louis has delivered his contractually obliged meme quotient. Crown Inc will fight another day, even if it is a wet, rainy one.
