Entertainment

Ryan Reynolds shares a humorous and chaotic story about taking his kids to the pumpkin patch, capturing the essence of fall.

Spooky season is here! But in a month of ghosts and goblins, the thing that’s scaring us the most is Ryan Reynolds extremely accurate depiction of going to the pumpkin patch with kids.

Sure, pumpkin patch-visiting is a time-honored fall tradition like apple picking and Halloween decorating — but that doesn’t make the logistics of rounding up children (and their friends) any easier. The Deadpool & Wolverine star just shared a dramatic tale of a recent trip with his four kids with wife Blake Lively, and we could tell this around campfires instead of ghost stories!

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – JULY 22: Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds attend the “Deadpool & Wolverine” New York Premiere on July 22, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images) Michael Loccisano/GA/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images

Reynolds shared a picture of him on his Instagram story, where he wrote about the funny experience starring his daughters James, 9, Inez, 7, and Betty, 4. (His son Olin, 19 months, was too young to contribute to any dramatics, luckily.) “Of course I wanna take you and your sister to the pumpkin patch,” he wrote, recalling a conversation with one of his daughters. “No, my love, I never said the pumpkin patch is where joy goes to die because that would be — sorry, what now?”

“Where joy goes to die” is crazy, but also, definitely a mood. Tromping through the muddy fields to find the perfect pumpkin, sweat pouring down your back in your fall clothes that are much too warm for this still-hot October, is not exactly fun. Also, trying to get your kids to smile for a picture, not fight over a pumpkin, and stop acting up long enough for you to actually enjoy the experience is not easy. It’s one of those things that always seems better in theory (or in edited photos on our Instagram feeds).

 

In his post, Reynolds continues his hilarious recounting. “You want to bring little Brandon from school? The one who can’t modulate the volume of his voice? Or the other Brandon who always has a communicable disease and once wiped his nose on your hair? All three!? There’s a THIRD Brandon? Halle-fucking-BOOYA! And they said it couldn’t be done!”

Oh gosh, this is painfully true. As if we didn’t have enough on our plates with our own kids, now we have to watch other people’s annoying children as well?! Super dad tied his cape — and called for backup.

“I’m gonna see if another parent can join me in case I need to head home and feed the cat — and yes I’m aware and I will GET a fucking cat, please Velcro your shoes and hop in the car.” Any excuse to get out of there, right?

All jokes aside, Reynolds and Lively seem to love going all-out for their kids for Halloween. In August, the It Ends With Us star told Vogue that she enjoys making costumes for her kids to go trick-or-treating in. “I got cloaks on Etsy and went to the Garment District, got all the trims. Look, I did all this, the sweetheart shape, the details on the sleeve…” she told the outlet, later sharing a picture on her Instagram story of the finished costumes, which were inspired by the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus.

“In fairness I don’t know how to pattern make. So I start with a base dress (or broom or wig) from Etsy or Amazon and build out all the layers and trim and details and flourishes and build from there, applying on top,” she explained on her story. She added, “My mom used to make everything from scratch. I LOVED and appreciated that so much but never learned how myself. Bucket list s𝓀𝒾𝓁𝓁s left to learn.”

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